My Contemplation

You must be thinking that falling in love is same everywhere on the globe then why am I writing specifically about India? What's so different about falling in love in India? But if you have experienced  it, you can clearly make out how falling in love is different in India? I am going to talk only about the experience of guys who were truly in love and not just looking out of sleeping with girls and than ditching them. I know almost 70% of guys fall in love or claims to fall in love only to enjoy sex or to get "Stud" status among his friends. So I am not going to talk about those 70% of guys but I am going to talk about 30% of poor guys who are truly in love.

So normally, how love story starts? A guy see a girl, fall in love, propose her, girl accepts the proposal and they lived happily ever after. But in India it is very different, a guy see a girl, even girl look at a guy (at least in Y2K generation this happens) they both like each other and somehow after struggling so many times and making hell lot of attempts, this guy successfully make a point to propose a friendship with her and  that too not directly; either by helping her in some of her problems or assignments (in college or office). Obviously he cannot directly approach girl with "I like you" or "I love you" otherwise he will be slapped or will be ignored for the entire life. So to be on a safer side, he somehow manipulates his thoughts and settle down to friendship.

Now he cannot reveal it to his friends because if he do so he will soon either become a talk of town or joke of the day and soon he will find himself as a stand up comedian in front of his so called love. So he claims saying that "we are just friends" to his friends as well as to his love. Now if he is good looking and smart enough to take on the responsibilities of girl, somehow girl accepts his proposal of friendship, particularly if the guy has contributed in many cute and good things in her's life.

And girls, I will tell you will never let go or miss any single chance to use him at fullest in all her stuffs. Girls are growing smarter now. The poor guy in love, claiming to be the best friend of her have to do what she says thinking that this will strengthen their relationship and someday she might accept her proposal.

Slowly and gradually their friendship grows stronger and this would certainly take not less than 1 or 2 years. He, after waiting for so long, somehow manages to gather some confidence to propose her. Assuming that all 100% of guys in this condition manages to gather the confidence and decides to propose her on one fine day. Out of those, for 50% of guys on the very same day when he had thought of proposing her, she either comes with a guy introducing him as her boyfriend or tells him the love story of her life. Till than she never had a time either to share her love life or talk about her boyfriend. So they end up there love story either by helping his friend to get married with her boyfriend or they cut down every possible contacts with her.

Out of remaining 50% cases, 30% of girls refuses the proposal of love saying that "I have never thought you in that way, I have always considered you as my best friend." However from these cases if the guy is smart & lucky enough which has a probability of only 10%, girls turn up to him by accepting his proposal after taking some days or months or may be even years (I think most of girls look out for some more options by that time or checks how much he loves her?). While remaining 20% accepts the truth and either try to continue their friendship or try to forget her and move on.

So last but not the least only those 20% percent of lucky guys get success in proposing her love on right time and lucky enough to get the response in acceptance of the proposal.

So is this the happy ending for those 20% of guys or still there is something there to bother them? Of course yes, how can falling in love so very easy in India? Now comes the biggest challenge, convincing their parents. Imagine, proposing her and getting acceptance or convincing a girl whom he loves, took him months and years, by what time he will be able to convince both families, where he will have to convince on an average 5 members per family? In India almost 10% of girls are afraid of talking to their parents about her boyfriend and thus everything is now left on the convincing power of a guy, his family background, his job and two most important factors such as "Kundli" and "Caste". If a boy's family or girl's family are reluctant to the marriage they can argue on any of the above factors and in particular the last two and the poor guy (and girl as well) will don't have any answer for factors like Kundli and Caste. He has no option but to elude, of course if girl is ready for it. Hardly 5% of guys from those 20% are lucky to get success in convincing their parents while remaining 15% have either to escape or compromise with their love life.

So if you count the conversion ratio of love getting converted into happy marriage it is only 5% in India. If every year 1000 guys in India are falling in love (true love) only 50 guys successfully gets married with support of their family. Thus falling in love in India is not that easy. In fact I have not discussed the post marriage situation in this article other wise the conversion ratio of happy marriage would be worst. Of course after marriage a guy does not have to face much of the challenges, but the main challenge actually starts for girl and this in turn imposes some challenges for a guy like making a choice between a loving wife (his beloved) and respectable mom (the reason of his existence).

I know I am biased towards guys but problems for girls starts only after a guy has proposed her, but for a guy challenges starts much before a guy propose her and lasts till they happily get married and sometimes even after that. I apologize to girls for being biased towards boys and I am very well aware about the challenges that girls have to face after marriage, but in a journey of falling in love in India (till they get married), a guy have to suffer more.