My Contemplation

"Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo" is one of the very popular show on Zee TV, but don't worry I am not going to write anything about its episodes or that television show. I have just used this title to narrate the condition which almost every women in India is facing.

Girls or womens have to struggle throughout their entire life right from their birth to end of their life. Although the condition in India is improving, I personally feel the situation is still the worst in many parts of India. Some community in India still regrets on the birth of girl child. Some family forces girls to stay for all 24 hrs in Ghoongat. They are not even supposed to speak against their parents even though the later are at fault. They are not even asked for their opinion or not allowed to participate in decision making. This is though the situation only in some part of India, but even if one family is doing so, it hurts.

Let's forget the rural India, and talk about the urban India, the modern India. Girls are being raped, girls are asked to compromise and they end up their life into some big trouble. When a girl gets pregnant before marriage, girls are accused or blamed but guys are not even asked a single question. Is this only a girl's responsibility?

Right from the day when girls are born, they are always looked upon differently by at least few members of our society. During their teenage they are not allowed to go to play with guys even though they are good at sports. They are not supposed to talk to strangers, they are not supposed to move out of their house without informing parents. All this is good, its always better for her, but why same thing does not apply to guys as well. All their parents dream of making their son independent and some even dream of girls being independent, but every time they ask girl to be there in kitchen in her free time and learn to cook. Why a guy is not supposed to learn the other household stuffs?

I have seen parents whose daughter is a MBA, working in MNC and earning good, but they expect their girl to know cooking even though she has what 50% of guys cannot even dream. Is this not enough for her to get a good guy in her life? When a guy is studying, he is never asked to compromise on his studies and in free time he is allowed to watch movies, listen music and play than why can't a girl also do the same. If a guy can be independent and hire a cook, same applies to a girl as well.

Right from when girls get mature she only learn one thing and that is "to compromise"; to compromise with studies, with friends, with interest, with love, with job, with marriage and finally with life.

Once she get married, she changes her surname, sometimes even her name, her lifestyle and enters in a new world. She is doing so much for a guy, but guy many a times don't bother while taking a side of his parents even though they are at faults, he don't bother when he goes out and sleep with other women, he don't even bother shouting her, fighting with her. Same applies to in law parents, in particular if mother in law being a women cannot understand a girl, what worst can we expect? A husband is the biggest strength for any girl and if he does not support, how difficult it will be for her to continue with her life. She leaves her entire world for him and in return if she does not get support from him, how difficult it would be for her?

If we are asked to leave our parents, our house and asked to stay with 5 people who are very close to strangers, and if they are there to ruin your life, take away all your freedom, your liking and interest, what do you think, will you be able to survive easily? No "Mard" will be able to, even though we claim "Mard ko kabhi dard nahi hota".

It is always difficult to give up all your interest and liking of 20 to 25 years and adjust with new people. But if other members support her and help her, that won't be difficult. Guy should be smart and diplomatic, if he could not take a side of his wife in front of his parents but he should at least not take a side of his parents. Be diplomatic and than try to sort it out in personal with both of them. Always help your better half to understand your parents better, instead of lying to her and getting her into trouble later. Even parents should understand and allow their daughter in law to enjoy her life as she used to at her house.

This is just a 0.01% of problems girls have to face in India. If we go deep in every year of their life, it would be difficult even to narrate it. The purpose of writing this is to make everyone realize their mistake and think deep about improving the condition of girls and helping them achieve the respectable status in our "Purush Parathan Samaaj".