My Contemplation

All my well wishers & dear and near ones, relax, don’t be tensed; read the complete post before calling me or getting tensed. Today, I was coming by train and for the very first time in my life I was sitting on the door step of a bogie. Standing on the doorstep and sitting on the doorstep are completely two different experiences. It was really amazing sitting on the doorstep, and fortunately I was sitting  alone there with minimal rush on my back.

Sitting on the doorstep, first gave me a very pleasant feeling and the wind blowing on my face was something really very idyllic. Those rail tracks rushing back at very high speed, trees passing where I could hardly manage to see which spices it belonged to was something which I had already noticed earlier but this time it was all very near, really different and  of course much better. While observing everything running at high speed, I gradually started running into some thoughts. Everything around me was running at a very high speed and  my thoughts too started gaining the same pace.

Unfortunately, thoughts were mixing; hell lots of negative thoughts complying with equal number of positive & vice versa. Let’s not get into what thoughts were but yes it was mix of all extremely negative covering up with extremely positive thoughts. I am known for positive thoughts, so certainly the negative thoughts had to loose. But yes, for some point of time those negative thoughts dominated in my mind and it was the time when the thought of an easiest way of committing a suicide ran into my mind. This was partly because of negative thoughts and partly because of the situation – sitting on a doorstep of bogie; a train crossing at the very high speed that too just a few meters away; my leg slipping off from the top step to a successive step (of course safely).

Jumping off the running train when another train is crossing would certainly be the easiest way of committing a suicide. Jumping off the train on the right time would make you die in a fraction of seconds and you would hardly feel the pain. At the time when I was sitting there and looking to the trains crossing, I felt it so easy to jump off the train and another train crushing me into the parts within a fraction of seconds. This was the point when I felt, if at all I would commit a suicide, I would use this method. This would be the easiest way to do so. Not too painful and not too time consuming; fast and on the spot.

But yes, the very next moment I thought that suicide is for those who don’t have balls. People say; to jump from a building, to light up yourself, to consume poison, sinking in a river or sea; you need courage but I say all this is easy to do than to stand and fight with the world, with yourself, with the situation. If you have balls, you will fight back, whatever is the situation, but committing a suicide is something which you will never do.
 

The new generation has taken their life for granted and committing a suicide is like a play for them.  Someone failed & he or she thinks this is something worth loosing his/her life; boyfriend or girlfriend ditched and the idiot went straight away to committee a suicide. Are these reasons to give away something that is very precious – your life? Your life is something that your parents cherish more than anything in this world. Your life is something which your friends & siblings would miss & cry  for their whole life. It is something which may ruin your beloved, wife’s, daughter’s or son’s life. It would impact hundreds of people who are living for you and only for you and that impact could be terrible. 

Thus have balls and fight with the situation instead ruining your life and finding such easy methods of committing a suicide as I did; I apologies for sharing this method but I am a fighter and am strictly against suicide. I am fighting, are you?