What's in a name?

| by Bhuvan
Sorry for the copied title, but couldn't think of better. Possibly because I am writing after a long time. Was thinking of writing on two to three topics but unfortunately couldn't make it. First of all why this title; recently I came across few incidents that changed my perception about the modern India, the growing India, and it provoked me to write something about it and as title says its certainly about name. Name here also mean caste, religion & nationality.

I was under impression that a common man today has nothing to do with caste & religion; he is least bothered if the neighbor or colleague or a boss or any one he meets in a day is Hindu or Muslim or Christian or he belongs to upper or lower caste or whatever. We hardly mange to get some quality time that we can spend with family. We are so very much occupied by monetary and personal tensions that we can barely even think the least concerned aspects such as religion, caste, etc. However it was just a perception, if we go out and see the real India, people still want to talk religion, want to talk caste, want to talk about nationality.

India, or rather people of India, will have to answer to these questions as they will constantly hinder the growth of India. We can never become a developed nation without answering these issues. We always waste our time and lot of resources by discriminating people on basis on caste, religion & nationality. Indian society is divided so rigidly on the basis of caste and religion & now even on basis of nationality that people are either the outsider or insider.

Politicians need reasons to make common people fight and kill each other, why to give them a single reason. We always blame everything on politicians, why don't we realize the problem lies in the root, its among us. It is very important to stay united or we will soon be on the same stage we were 65 years ago. We will be ruled by others. Earlier kings used to fight for their regions and today we are fighting for caste, religion & states.

A Hindu neighbor comes and ask if I have a Muslim friend staying along with me, if so we guys have to move out from this society as this is a Hindu society; I say how does that matter to him, why don't he mind his own business, who is he to decide it as a Hindu society. A Muslim friend stops me to enter alone in a particular area saying its a Muslim area and he need to be with me; where is a freedom if I need to notice in which area I am safe and where I am not. A friend of mine cant meet her girlfriend's parents because he belongs to lower caste; who the hell here decides which caste deserves what. A child is beaten up by parents for playing with a child belonging to lower caste or other religion; I don't understand why to fill up the blank mind with such horrible discriminative thoughts. I am forced to learn regional languages, even though I am good at our national language. Mother/Regional languages have their importance but are they more important than our national language.

Its a high time that we realize the consequences of such issues; we are not only wasting our own time but we are missing many more important things in our life. Grow up before it gets too late. I was, I am and I will always be an Indian first - by caste - by religion - by nationality; are you?
2 comments

Relationship

| by Bhuvan
I haven’t experienced even 50% of my life but till now have come across many people and many relationships. I am too naive or young to write something that is so very much important in anybody’s life – Relationship. Though learning from my experience so far, learning from people surrounding me and their experience, would like to share my own view on it.

If I am given the right to define the synonym of relation/relationship, (which of course no one is going to give, but still I would like to define it over here on my blog :P), I would define it as understanding. The better you understand, better would be any relationship. Its an individual’s perception how you take it & how you understand your relationship. There is a thin line difference between compromising and understanding, what you perceive it is what you make it. To change for someone for better can either be taken as compromise or as understanding. If you are happy with the change in yourself for someone or if you are changing yourself for someone with your wish, that according to me is understanding. If you are not happy with the change in yourself for someone, that is compromise. Again sometime you unwillingly have to change for someone but if it ends up for your betterment, that is nothing but understanding, though no one agrees to it.  

The first time when we start inhaling we are already in relation with few people, we are related to our parents, grandparents, our siblings through blood relations. We don’t choose them, we get them and they are of course one of the best gift one could ever have. Of course, not everyone is lucky, I am. They take us through the most important journey of our life holding our hand, teaching the values, religion & moral; guiding us on the right path, scolding us, loving us and sometimes even beating us. We hurt them, we love them, we shout on them, we follow them, we respect them and we sometimes even go against them. Everything ends up to understanding, sometime they understand us, and sometime we understand them. I am lucky to have the most understanding parents and lovely elder sister who have supported me in everything.  They understand me very well and sometimes even I do.

Friendship, ideally it’s difficult to describe in words. We choose them and we nurture this relationship. We are open to them; with them we are the one we like to be. We fight with them and we also fight for them. We spend most of our time of the day with them, they know in and out about us. We share everything with them. We love them, we care for them, we cry for them and sometimes we also make other cry for them. We so very well understand our friends even though we have some problem, after few arguments, few shouts we stand beside each other for friendship. Understanding best works in friendship. Though you know you have to change for your friends you are eagerly ready to do so. Those days of school and college where our entire life is surrounded by friends is one of the best days we could ever have in our life. Throughout your life you miss these days and these relations.

Love, spouse, partner, better half, lifeline or whatever you call this relation, it has more intense feeling than these words actually describe it. They are the one who travel with you throughout your whole life. They come into your life when you are ready to accept responsibilities. When you enter in this relationship you are ready to take your own as well as your better half’s responsibilities. This generation has the liberty to choose this relation for self, but with agreement of many people. Thank God, I am part of this generation. But even though we have the liberty to choose our life partner for us, why the divorce rate have increase in last 5 years as compared to previous years. Earlier, do people compromised or they understood?

This relation is one of the most complicated and the most important relation of our life. If we understand the spouse or better half just like we understand our parents or friends then it could be one of the best relationships in the world. We fight with our friends and parents but we are still with them forever, similarly can’t that happen along with our partner? We love our better half but very few understand each other. We fight, we cry, we shout, we scold but we love him/her the most and the life is incomplete him/her that is why we call it better half. When two people get married, they enter into each others world. A guy & his family should understand (again the word “understand” :) ) that girl will take time to adjust to the new life, something she had never seen for past 20 + years. Similarly, a girl should give a try to adjust with his family; of course it’s not possible without a guy’s help. Few things, habits or lifestyle we explore about our spouse slowly and gradually and it starts feeling that he/she has more negative points than those positive points we saw earlier. But we forget that no one is perfect, we all have some negative points and if we make the other understand (again, understand) their negative points (rather than pointing out) and help him/her to rectify on those points, that would help our relationship grow. I know it easy to write it but difficult to implement it. But very few people even think in this direction and unless you think, you cannot implement. 

Understanding & relationship goes hand in hand. Understanding should be from both the end, only parents understand every time or only child have to understand every time does not work for longer period. Every friend understands each other mutually and similarly it’s a responsibility of individual to understand his/her spouse mutually. The both way understanding leads to the happy relationship. We love all our relations, that is great but if we start understanding equally we could live happily forever. Sometimes a simple sorry in relation can prevent a life-long regrets, similarly to blame is human but to forgive is divine. All this is nothing but understanding and only that works to make your relation better.
5 comments

It was 8 in the morning!!

| by Bhuvan

Aman and Suhani got married few months back. Theirs was a love marriage; after a lot of struggle and emotional battles they had managed to convince their parents & eventually tied the knot. Aman and Suhani was a perfect couple - made for each other, very understanding, very cooperative and full of true love. Below is an anecdote from their after marriage love life as per Aman.

Characters: Aman, Suhani and a maid

It was 8.15 AM in the morning and I could see the sun trying to peep into our room through the beautifully curtained windows. I was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper and sipping hot tea made by my beloved wife Suhani. Her tea was always special for me and would make my day. It was yet another beautiful morning with birds rhythmically chirping in the bushes & wind rustling through the leaves. I could hear Suhani from our bed room humming her favorite song “Teri ore, teri ore.” This was the first song she dedicated to me; I could remember it every time I hear this song. After that it became my favorite too.

“Didi, how many rotis today?” suddenly the maid shouted from kitchen addressing the question to Suhani.
 Suhani quickly came to the bedroom door and replied: “6 roti.”

She looked beautiful with her wet hair glistening in the few rays of sunlight and I could hardly take my eyes away from her. She winked at me to not to stare her and quickly went inside. I wished it was a holiday today and cursed our work wishing I could stop her from going to office today. I would rather prefer to hold this beauty in my arms and give her a lot of love.

I somehow managed to get my attention back to the newspaper that was in the same position since last 5 minutes as I was lost observing the beauty of nature and thinking about the most beautiful girl in my life – my Suhani.

Suhani came out wearing pink formal trousers and a perfectly fitting light pink shaded shirt that enhanced her beauty even further. I gasped looking at her, felt proud and lucky to have this divine beauty as my wife. She started applying some cream on her face, looking into the mirror. I could see her in the mirror and again lost my connection with the news I was reading. I was looking at her in the mirror and just kept looking at this divine beauty nurturing her looks gracefully.

I was brought back to the attention when she asked our maid about the tiffin: “Masi, is tiffin ready? I am already late and I hope you will not make it worst.”

The maid replied as if it was ready years ago “Oh Didi, it is already ready & waiting for your attention; as soon as you get ready, you can get it.” She then started murmuring and I could hear that she was complaining about every day scolding that she gets from Suhani for getting late in readying tiffin.

Suhani was busy in styling her hair & I could hardly take my eyes off her. Staring at her getting ready seemed more beautiful than even standing on the peak of Himalaya watching clouds passing through. She looked into my eyes in the mirror and winked; I was completely lost in her and I didn’t notice. She then turned around and I just didn’t want to lose sight of one of the most beautiful scene I was going through.

She was holding a comb in her left hand and with the right hand on her waist she looked to me with a small cunning smile and asked “Don’t you have some work? Focus on news; what are you staring at?”  

She knew that I was looking to her; she knew that how much I love observing her beauty and she love it when I look her that way, though that question was very much expected. All girls prefer to get complimented about their beauty and she was no different. I could hear the maid laughing in the kitchen; even she knew that when Suhani was in front of me, I wouldn’t see anything else. I looked at her and laughed saying “Looking at the most beautiful lady of the universe; what’s there in news I can leave the entire world for you.”   

She blushed and turned back towards the mirror and continued ameliorating her beauty. It was already 8.40 now and I could sense that she is already very late. She had to reach her office by 9.00 AM which now seemed almost near to impossible. I conveyed her that she is getting late and she almost threw all the cosmetics she was carrying in her hand while standing in front of mirror.

“Can’t you tell me that it’s already 8.40 instead of staring me; you know my boss will screw me” she shouted while she picked up her bag and started running from here and there. In return, I murmured so that she could not hear “If I would have told you, I would have missed all this and I didn’t  want to.” I kept looking at her and she sometimes looked at me with a smile saying “I know you must be telling me that you look stunning and you don’t need to waste so much time on looking better; but what to do, I am helpless, sorry darling.”   

It was a normal trend between us that we hug and kiss each other before she leaves for the office. I had an intuition that today she is late and she might miss it in a hurry. I thought to stand up and go close to the door so that it would be fast and easy for her to hug and kiss me and run for the office. But before I could stand up she fastened her sandal and opened the door, she looked at me and told giving a flying kiss “Hey Sweety, I am getting late; catch you in the evening, love you a lot, Mmmuuaahh, will miss you.” She pulled the door & ran away.

I could just mange to stand up in an awkward position - half sitting and half standing up - and as I had no option, I sat back on the couch again. I was upset and kept on thinking about it that how could she forget to kiss and hug me before leaving to office. I recalled every incident where I was hurt unknowingly by her in recent past. This was the first time, she forgot to do so. My heart and mind had a fight – Mind: “She doesn’t love you like before” - Heart: “No it was just that she was getting late” – Mind: “It was already late; it was just a matter of second” – Heart: “Its fine, not a big deal; she gave a flying kiss after all” – Mind: “It is of course a big deal, how could she forget it” – Heart: “Come on, this is the first time it happened” – Mind: “But it happened...”

I am a bit pragmatic and so I managed to listen to my heart & consoled myself saying “She was getting very late, I just hope she doesn’t get scolded by her boss.” I picked up the paper and started reading the news which I had left incomplete 20 minutes ago to avoid any further negative thoughts.

Suddenly, within a second the house door bell rang. I thought she must have forgotten something and that would add to her delay. I ran quickly to the door and opened it, seeing her standing in front of me; as expected. I immediately questioned “What happened? Did you forget anything? That’s why I always ask you to get ready before time.”

She was standing there smiling and I was confused looking her doing nothing. She was not even panicking as she was  getting late for office and further not even replying to my questions. She came close to me, hugged me and murmured in my ear “Darling, you are very bad. Can’t you stop me and tell me that I am forgetting something? I could not even imagine my day without a hug and kiss from you. For you it won’t make any difference, but for me it is very important. It says that you are with me; it says that you will hold my hand forever whatever be the condition; it says how passionately you love me. I am sorry, I forgot but I came back to get it.” I was dumbstruck and I didn’t know what to do; my eyes became moist. I held her tightly in my arms and said “I love you a lot.” I kissed her and she then ran for the office.

I scolded myself for being such a rascal and having such negative thoughts. I  just didn’t know what  went wrong. But I promised myself that from now on I will always follow my heart in all matter relating to the love of my life. After all she was the best thing which could have ever happened to me.

-          By Me. Thanks to Amin, Sarfaraz & Gaurav for giving time in reviewing my first flash fiction & for their valuable inputs to help me portray my fictionalization.
12 comments

An easiest way to committee a suicide

| by Bhuvan
All my well wishers & dear and near ones, relax, don’t be tensed; read the complete post before calling me or getting tensed. Today, I was coming by train and for the very first time in my life I was sitting on the door step of a bogie. Standing on the doorstep and sitting on the doorstep are completely two different experiences. It was really amazing sitting on the doorstep, and fortunately I was sitting  alone there with minimal rush on my back.

Sitting on the doorstep, first gave me a very pleasant feeling and the wind blowing on my face was something really very idyllic. Those rail tracks rushing back at very high speed, trees passing where I could hardly manage to see which spices it belonged to was something which I had already noticed earlier but this time it was all very near, really different and  of course much better. While observing everything running at high speed, I gradually started running into some thoughts. Everything around me was running at a very high speed and  my thoughts too started gaining the same pace.

Unfortunately, thoughts were mixing; hell lots of negative thoughts complying with equal number of positive & vice versa. Let’s not get into what thoughts were but yes it was mix of all extremely negative covering up with extremely positive thoughts. I am known for positive thoughts, so certainly the negative thoughts had to loose. But yes, for some point of time those negative thoughts dominated in my mind and it was the time when the thought of an easiest way of committing a suicide ran into my mind. This was partly because of negative thoughts and partly because of the situation – sitting on a doorstep of bogie; a train crossing at the very high speed that too just a few meters away; my leg slipping off from the top step to a successive step (of course safely).

Jumping off the running train when another train is crossing would certainly be the easiest way of committing a suicide. Jumping off the train on the right time would make you die in a fraction of seconds and you would hardly feel the pain. At the time when I was sitting there and looking to the trains crossing, I felt it so easy to jump off the train and another train crushing me into the parts within a fraction of seconds. This was the point when I felt, if at all I would commit a suicide, I would use this method. This would be the easiest way to do so. Not too painful and not too time consuming; fast and on the spot.

But yes, the very next moment I thought that suicide is for those who don’t have balls. People say; to jump from a building, to light up yourself, to consume poison, sinking in a river or sea; you need courage but I say all this is easy to do than to stand and fight with the world, with yourself, with the situation. If you have balls, you will fight back, whatever is the situation, but committing a suicide is something which you will never do.
 
The new generation has taken their life for granted and committing a suicide is like a play for them.  Someone failed & he or she thinks this is something worth loosing his/her life; boyfriend or girlfriend ditched and the idiot went straight away to committee a suicide. Are these reasons to give away something that is very precious – your life? Your life is something that your parents cherish more than anything in this world. Your life is something which your friends & siblings would miss & cry  for their whole life. It is something which may ruin your beloved, wife’s, daughter’s or son’s life. It would impact hundreds of people who are living for you and only for you and that impact could be terrible. 

Thus have balls and fight with the situation instead ruining your life and finding such easy methods of committing a suicide as I did; I apologies for sharing this method but I am a fighter and am strictly against suicide. I am fighting, are you?
2 comments

PL - The best days in College

| by Bhuvan
Few of you might be aware about what PL means. However, for those who cannot guess about this, let me tell you what PL means. PL stands for Preparation Leaves. Preparation leaves are the best days of  college, in fact the best nights in the college. Before you start thinking weird, let me clarify you, during these nights  every student is thoroughly, methodically, sincerely and actively involved in preparing for exams. Most of the time in a day is spent on thinking and discussing what to read and what not and when pressure gets built in evening, a solid plan is made to complete few courses in the night. After so much tension and planning for night, if you see the outcome, you will definitely believe that PL is the best days of the college life. Of course, as all fingers are not same, PL for each and everyone is not same.

Few of them, from day 1 starts studying intensively; few scheduling their plan – then rescheduling - again rescheduling - and it goes on; few of them starts gathering notes (books); few of them try to figure out what are the subjects; while remaining few thinks "now I will get some time to sleep, free from submissions, free from lectures". This is the time when "photocopies" is the most used word among collegians. In India, people prefer calling it XEROX.

During PL, sale of photocopy centre, tea/coffee centre, snacks sellers (particularly during night) boots up significantly. Reading for one hour and spending 3 hours on Tea/coffee centre is one of the regular activities. Various activities during PL are very much common like calling friends, discussing importance, explaining/understanding theories on phone and last but not the least getting scolded by parent for talking so long on phone. Driving bikes late night, discussing about the future with friends and talking all absurd things like, how would our children be, what job we will do, how much we will earn, when we will have S#X for first time, who is the hottest girl in the college, when would exams be over, where will spent our holidays after exam, what will do after exams and many more..... Reading for half an hour and sleeping for next two hours (yaar ek gante main mujhe utha dena or yaar tu kab soyega, mujhe utha dena yaar), scheduling plans and ending up with regret of not completing it.

PL is the time when lots of promises (to self) are made. PL is the time when relations are built or broken. PL is the time when students are at their highest level of  their creativity and sincerity. All sorts of regrets, thoughts and promises come or develop only in PL. Below are some example of such thoughts and promises and how it changes as the exam date approaches.

"Oye kuch accha plan kar is baar, marks aache lane padenge”

“Oye meri notes Xerox karva lena, aur ha papers bhi. Last 5 years ke”

“Yaar bohot bhuk lagi hai, chal na kuch khane ko order karte hai”. (To this another replies) “Abbe nahi yaar aabhi to hum ne kuch padhna suru hi nahi kiya. Padh lo yaar” (After 10 mins of sincere reading, the later guy) “Chod yaar, sach main bohot bhuk lagi hai chal pizza khate hai”

"Chal sir ko puchte hai, jitna aapne padhaya hai utna hi padhna hai na"

“Abbe kitna padega, saala padhke kiska bhala hua hai”

"Yaar, yeh saala technology zabardast hai, kya invention hai. Chal na apne bhi aisa kuch sochte hai."

“Aaj to bohot padh liya yaar, chal chai vai pee ke aate hai”

“Maine suna sir ne class B valo ko kuch imp diya tha”

"Abbe yeh to sir ne kabhi padhaya hi nahi, saale ne kitne lectures liye. Thoda imp deta to. (The crowd replies) Sach main, Kam$%a hai yaar vo”

“Tu to aise bol raha hai jaise uske saare classes attain kiye hai."

“Oh GOD, this is so tough, if we would have read this from first, yeh situation nahi hoti."

"Darling don't worry, tomorrow i will explain you about this theory in simple language, to ho jayega, aabhi chalo give somthing sweet mmmuuaaahhh........."
"Sweetheart, don't worry, itna tension mat lo, main samja dunga yeh to bohot easy hai"
"Saale kamine, mujhe kehta hai ke main yeh padha nahi hai... aur use kehta hai kitna easy hai main samja dunga $$$^%&34#52$##^&^&%^&"

"Yaar sir ko call karna, koi doubt raise kar ke puch na agar koi importance de de to, mujhe to aapni vaat lagti deekh rahi hai."

"Saala khud itna padhe ja raha hai aur mujhe kehta hai, abhi to kuch nahi padha, saala dost ko dhokha de raha hai."

"Koi nahi, agli baar usse zyaada marks nahi laye to, to, to....."

"Yaar, tera itna sab ho gaya!!!!, meri to fati padi hai"

“Yaar last 5 years ke kisi bhi papers main aisa kuch pucha nahi hai, yeh chod dete hai”

“Pata hai, last year tak vo sir sab ko imp de dete the, saala aapne waqt hi sab change hona tha”

"Yaar, yeh dimaag main nahi jaa raha hai, thoda samja de aapni language main, jo samaj main aayega aapni language main likh dunga."

“Pakka hai na ke sab log yeh nahi padh rahe hai, varna pata chala yehi question aaya aur sirf aapni vaat lagi hai”

“Yaar kya boring life hai aapni, saala pura din padho to bhi khattam hi nahi hota”

"Yaar, yeh exams kyun hoti hai"

“Dear God, please is baar help kar le, next semester I promise pehle se padhai karunga”

"Oye Raaba, baacha le" 
  
During PLs, 70% of students are in similar situations, full of such thoughts and promises. In spite of  all these, if you see the outcome, 90% of people clear the exams, which is indeed an achievement. Salute to these days...
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